By the end of the week you are going to be tired of hearing about all the ‘lasts’. Today was our last Saturday class. I honestly don’t even remember the teachers name or where she is from. She mentioned it at the beginning of class but my brain was still in bed. I like Saturday classes because they just seem more chillaxed as a whole. It takes me a little longer to get into the groove of things because I am still half asleep. Saturday classes have just seemed a little easier, maybe it’s because I know I can crawl into bed a couple hours later for a nap. I also believe the room is less hot than the rest of the weekly classes. There is also the fact that the rest of the day is ours and there are no expectations for the rest of the day. Saturdays mean no surprises, no second class and no anticipation of wondering how long Bikram will keep us up in the evening. Not that I get much accomplished on the weekends but it beats having to rush off to the lecture hall after lunch.
Today I ran into a girl that I have seen struggling all week. She has been walking with her head down and crying in class. It was the first time all training that I had seen these emotions come out of her. I just figured she is one of the lucky ones that get to move through things while she is here. I saw her today and she had this incredible new haircut and a huge smile on her face. She went from having bra length hair to not long enough to put in a pony tail hair. I just said to her, ‘wow, look at you, check it out’. She just smiled and said “it’s my break up hair cut” with a little spin so I could take it all in. It was those six words that started an hour conversation about our experiences here. I have not talked to her except in passing these entire two months. Two months ago she expected to go home from training, teach part time, plan her wedding and move into a new house. Now five days later she has a new haircut, a wider smile, a new outlook, and she’s packing up and moving away to put all her energy into teaching. Training was never really a thought for her until a visiting senior teacher was at her studio. When he found out she wasn't a teacher he asked her when she was going to teacher training, planting the seed in her head and she thought, ‘sure, why not?’ She never guessed in a million years that that seed would flourish into the most incredible experience of her life. Now she is living in the moment and allowing whatever is meant to happen, happen, one moment at a time.
I would like to say that it totally surprises me how people’s lives just shift, change and grow while they are here, but it doesn’t surprise me at all; I know what this yoga is capable of doing for people. I love being a witness to all the amazing changes and growth people make here. I think throughout the training I have written a lot about other people’s experiences and not really about my own. I haven’t had one of those totally break down moments that a lot of people have experienced, I think I have cried twice since I go here. The first was when I saw my kitty and hearing about how much he missed me and the second was in posture clinic when I was told to give it more heart. I know we aren’t supposed to have any expectations when we come here but I was totally expecting to have a total meltdown. It wasn’t because I thought I needed to but more because I heard it happens. When they first asked us to shut down our blogs they said it was because they didn’t want us to evaluate what was happening to us here. They also didn’t want future trainees reading about our experience and developing expectations for their upcoming adventure. I somewhat understand what they were getting at now. There is no comparing your experience to anyone else’s or thinking ‘well it happened to them’. Though I am journaling/blogging about my experience while I am here it is just the beginning. The physical presence of being at training might end next week but receiving that certificate is just the starting point.
I started this training with the thought of ‘I expect to… get sick, get diaherra, have a break down, get angry, get tired of the food, hear a lot of gossip, get tired of everyone, fight with my room mate, not see the people from my studio very much, stay up all hours studying dialogue, and get cabin fever’. I sure am glad that with all these expectations I was able to take it day by day and each moment one by one. I didn’t wake up every morning wondering when I was going to get sick, be angry, if today would be the day Eleni would piss me off, etc. It was more like, when the drama began I didn’t go looking for the latest dirt. When my roommate did get sick I would say to her, ‘don’t worry I know it will happen to me too’. I did have an angry week but I was able to recognize that and embrace it, it was all good. I thought and dreamed about the dialogue but I tried not to stress over it. Having the same food over and over got tiring, but I made the best of it and thought how lucky we are to get a buffet. I enjoyed my Melissa time and love the fact that I am able to be with and by myself. I never had urges to just get out, go home or go dancing to get away from it all. Don’t get me wrong I don’t walk around with a constant smile on my face. I think if I did that I would be hiding, hiding behind a smile, hiding from how I truly feel, and that ain't me.
I have made two new amazing friends that could not have happened with out this experience here together. Okay I have made more than two friends but these two are from my city so that is even more special. I didn’t want to get into all this sentimental stuff because the end of training is quickly approaching. The fact is my words always come from my heart; where there is no filter some times and can be a scary thought but I just put my hands on the key board and this is what comes out.
Eleni (my room mate) and I got along famously (Sunny from Boston said that the other day and I loved it so I stole it). I love that I can be sarcastic with her and she just tells me to shut up, lol. A comment from me like, “Come on little legs, speed it up” was always followed by a “ha ha, shut up”. I am going miss waking up from crazy dreams and having her laugh at me as I relived them over a bowl of cereal in the morning.
We have had so many awesome moments and memories together. I am glad that getting along with my roommate is one thing I never had to stress over while I was here. I haven’t heard too many roommate horror stories but I know there are some out there. Eleni and I were talking last night about how lucky and glad we are that we got to room together. We never planned it, Eleni especially wanted to take this opportunity to meet and stay with someone from somewhere else in the world. Coming to training we left it up to the universe, expecting to room with complete strangers but it just so happens that being roommates was exactly what we both needed, imagine that.
Some times I don’t even remember what I write about in my blog. There are times when I have something to say and I wonder if I have already mentioned it. My brother asked me last week, “Do you know how long your blogs are?” To which I responded, “yah just a couple pages”, to which he replied “exactly”. I think he was trying to give me a hint, lol. I told him it’s my way of telling a story with out him telling me I was boring him. I don’t know where I am going with this story but for about three seconds on Monday when I wrote my blog I thought about his comment. I tried to make it short but I really have an opinion and thought about everything I write about and is happening with me so it is impossible. If I just wrote about the day’s events and what we did that day, it would be boring and I become bored when that is all I have to write about sometimes. I have used this blog as my journal as well, that means no holds bar. OH, I remember my point; I was thinking about the fact that I can’t wait to go back and read my own blog in a couple weeks, months, years. I give a lot of examples about different experiences here. It will be interesting to go back and read what my take was on it all at this time in my life.
Today I ran into a girl that I have seen struggling all week. She has been walking with her head down and crying in class. It was the first time all training that I had seen these emotions come out of her. I just figured she is one of the lucky ones that get to move through things while she is here. I saw her today and she had this incredible new haircut and a huge smile on her face. She went from having bra length hair to not long enough to put in a pony tail hair. I just said to her, ‘wow, look at you, check it out’. She just smiled and said “it’s my break up hair cut” with a little spin so I could take it all in. It was those six words that started an hour conversation about our experiences here. I have not talked to her except in passing these entire two months. Two months ago she expected to go home from training, teach part time, plan her wedding and move into a new house. Now five days later she has a new haircut, a wider smile, a new outlook, and she’s packing up and moving away to put all her energy into teaching. Training was never really a thought for her until a visiting senior teacher was at her studio. When he found out she wasn't a teacher he asked her when she was going to teacher training, planting the seed in her head and she thought, ‘sure, why not?’ She never guessed in a million years that that seed would flourish into the most incredible experience of her life. Now she is living in the moment and allowing whatever is meant to happen, happen, one moment at a time.
I would like to say that it totally surprises me how people’s lives just shift, change and grow while they are here, but it doesn’t surprise me at all; I know what this yoga is capable of doing for people. I love being a witness to all the amazing changes and growth people make here. I think throughout the training I have written a lot about other people’s experiences and not really about my own. I haven’t had one of those totally break down moments that a lot of people have experienced, I think I have cried twice since I go here. The first was when I saw my kitty and hearing about how much he missed me and the second was in posture clinic when I was told to give it more heart. I know we aren’t supposed to have any expectations when we come here but I was totally expecting to have a total meltdown. It wasn’t because I thought I needed to but more because I heard it happens. When they first asked us to shut down our blogs they said it was because they didn’t want us to evaluate what was happening to us here. They also didn’t want future trainees reading about our experience and developing expectations for their upcoming adventure. I somewhat understand what they were getting at now. There is no comparing your experience to anyone else’s or thinking ‘well it happened to them’. Though I am journaling/blogging about my experience while I am here it is just the beginning. The physical presence of being at training might end next week but receiving that certificate is just the starting point.
I started this training with the thought of ‘I expect to… get sick, get diaherra, have a break down, get angry, get tired of the food, hear a lot of gossip, get tired of everyone, fight with my room mate, not see the people from my studio very much, stay up all hours studying dialogue, and get cabin fever’. I sure am glad that with all these expectations I was able to take it day by day and each moment one by one. I didn’t wake up every morning wondering when I was going to get sick, be angry, if today would be the day Eleni would piss me off, etc. It was more like, when the drama began I didn’t go looking for the latest dirt. When my roommate did get sick I would say to her, ‘don’t worry I know it will happen to me too’. I did have an angry week but I was able to recognize that and embrace it, it was all good. I thought and dreamed about the dialogue but I tried not to stress over it. Having the same food over and over got tiring, but I made the best of it and thought how lucky we are to get a buffet. I enjoyed my Melissa time and love the fact that I am able to be with and by myself. I never had urges to just get out, go home or go dancing to get away from it all. Don’t get me wrong I don’t walk around with a constant smile on my face. I think if I did that I would be hiding, hiding behind a smile, hiding from how I truly feel, and that ain't me.
I have made two new amazing friends that could not have happened with out this experience here together. Okay I have made more than two friends but these two are from my city so that is even more special. I didn’t want to get into all this sentimental stuff because the end of training is quickly approaching. The fact is my words always come from my heart; where there is no filter some times and can be a scary thought but I just put my hands on the key board and this is what comes out.
Eleni (my room mate) and I got along famously (Sunny from Boston said that the other day and I loved it so I stole it). I love that I can be sarcastic with her and she just tells me to shut up, lol. A comment from me like, “Come on little legs, speed it up” was always followed by a “ha ha, shut up”. I am going miss waking up from crazy dreams and having her laugh at me as I relived them over a bowl of cereal in the morning.
We have had so many awesome moments and memories together. I am glad that getting along with my roommate is one thing I never had to stress over while I was here. I haven’t heard too many roommate horror stories but I know there are some out there. Eleni and I were talking last night about how lucky and glad we are that we got to room together. We never planned it, Eleni especially wanted to take this opportunity to meet and stay with someone from somewhere else in the world. Coming to training we left it up to the universe, expecting to room with complete strangers but it just so happens that being roommates was exactly what we both needed, imagine that.
Some times I don’t even remember what I write about in my blog. There are times when I have something to say and I wonder if I have already mentioned it. My brother asked me last week, “Do you know how long your blogs are?” To which I responded, “yah just a couple pages”, to which he replied “exactly”. I think he was trying to give me a hint, lol. I told him it’s my way of telling a story with out him telling me I was boring him. I don’t know where I am going with this story but for about three seconds on Monday when I wrote my blog I thought about his comment. I tried to make it short but I really have an opinion and thought about everything I write about and is happening with me so it is impossible. If I just wrote about the day’s events and what we did that day, it would be boring and I become bored when that is all I have to write about sometimes. I have used this blog as my journal as well, that means no holds bar. OH, I remember my point; I was thinking about the fact that I can’t wait to go back and read my own blog in a couple weeks, months, years. I give a lot of examples about different experiences here. It will be interesting to go back and read what my take was on it all at this time in my life.
The pic is me and some of the girls from group 13
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