Rajashree taught the morning class. After lunch she leaves for two weeks to do some seminars. She will be back week nine with her daughter for our graduation.
Last night I called Eleni out about sitting out poses and the way to work through them. It was actually good because we ended up having a good talk about it. I guess the universe knew she was ready to be pushed because we ended up beside each other today. This is the first time ever (training or at home) that we have practiced side by side. She got into every posture and really pushed herself today, I was proud of her. She has been having on and off days so it was good to see her walking out with smile after.
Oh and Jules and Melissa; a girl from Vancouver passed on the hug and ‘keep going you’re doing great’ today. She got one of the students from her studio to track us down so she could meet us. She said she was at the studio last week and met you guys, so thanks that was neat.
After lunch we had posture clinic with Esther as a lead, she is great. I think once again a power greater than me knew my group needed her today after two tense posture clinics with Jeff people were really on edge. When I got up to do my posture I started to do it the way they told me to do in for my homework after explaining to Esther what my homework was. She stopped me after two sentences and told me to take a deep breath. She said, ‘I understand your homework and you obviously did to but its not you, please start again and do it how Melissa would do it’, so I took a deep breath and started over. It has been about seven postures since I have been able to relax and just concentrate on the students and bodies while saying the dialogue. When I finished I felt great and had a huge smile on my face. Ester just beamed at me, and said ‘I don’t know why you ever changed what you were doing, that was great, WOW, you are one strong girl and you made me want to lie down and do bow, and I HATE bow’. I told her I have been getting so much feedback about slowing down and speaking in different ways that I wasn’t enjoying posture clinic anymore. She told me my biggest thing is my nerves, but right now I just have to keep working on being me and calming down. That is truly what and who I needed today.
The last couple nights I have not been able to sleep. Two nights ago I really started to doubt myself and question why I was here. I was so frustrated with the feedback I was getting in posture clinic (from one person in particular) that I started to doubt myself. It was first time since starting Bikram Yoga that I wondered if this was the right decision, and wondered if I was really capable of teaching. Wednesday night, after the evening posture clinic I was really angry and tossed and turned all night with a million thoughts spinning in my head. Yesterday I went from being angry and wanting to leave to just letting go and figuring out a way to work through it. I decided to try the feed back I was given, work with it and see what happens. Well I did just that and the next feedback I got was that it wasn’t the right fit for me.
I talked to some people in my group today during the break and told them how I felt. All six girls I was talking with have all had the same feelings as me at one time or another during training. Its funny how when you just put yourself out there what you can get back. I think it was a relief for everyone just to talk about it.
The funny thing is I never ever let it get to me during yoga class. The only time I thought about it was when I was doing my dialogue or in posture clinic, which makes sense. I am glad my ill feelings only lasted two days.
In bow one of the lines is ‘wrists straight, pointed toes’. One of my group members Tracy was told to come out of her shell and not be nervous while saying her dialogue in posture clinic. She got up there and when she came to that line she said, “wrists straight, pointed toes, that’s the way we do the pose", as she did a little hip shake. I fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Esther was still laughing at the end of the posture that she couldn’t even catch her breath to give her a comment. She just gave her two thumbs up and told her to rock it out again next time, it was awesome.
Before evening class I found Esther because I wanted to give her a hug and say thank you. I told her about how I was feeling the last couple days and nights and what she did for me today. I told her I didn’t know what I needed today but someone knew, and it was her. She gave me a huge hug and told me that everyone goes through it during training. I know that and I understand it’s a part of growing. What doesn’t knock you down makes you stronger, look out.
Evening class was taught by some lady from New York I think. She is a studio owner and the wife of one of our trainees here. I have heard before that a class is determined right from half moon (first posture). That is basically when people decide what kind of class they are going to have, or not have. Well, this one was not off to a good start. She held us in half moon for exactly 60 seconds, the longest we have ever been held there all training. After the first full set of half moon people literally started dropping and made of their minds they weren’t having it tonight. I was not going to let her get into my head so I actually had a fun class (as much as is allowed in a Bikram class) with the help of the people around me. We didn’t let each other sit down but we had smiles and laughs the entire time. It is Friday night and I think exactly what we needed to get through it.
After supper we had more posture clinic with one more posture to rehearse. I didn’t mind, I had memorized this one over the weekend so I couldn’t wait to get up there and do it. We had two awesome leads tonight and the energy in the room was fabulous. Tara from my group was told to find the bitch within and deliver with a different voice range then her sweet tone. She walked up there and the sound that came out of her was unbelivable, I was dieing. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing throughout the entire posture. The lead described it perfectly, she sounded like Captain Jack Black (Johnny Depp) in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, it was so freaking awesome. The leads loved it and her performance started a domino effect. Everyone after her had to take on a character to deliver their dialogue. We had a couple more pirates go up, a stoned out surfer dude, a valley girl, a sweet little granny, and Reba McIntyre. Anyone who knows me can guess which one I was. Shauna you are going to love this; “Hello my naaames Re-ba and I’ll be your instructor tonight”. Lol, I was a sweet ol country singer, your favorite. I felt uncomfortable at first because I am not one for acting or getting out of my comfort zone. Once i let go it turned out to be so much fun and again what I needed to get out of my shell a little bit. I was concentrating so much on getting the accent right that the dialogue just spewed out of my mouth. So this Friday nights posture clinic was a lot more enjoyable and relaxed compared to last week. It feels nice to end the week off like that.
Last night I called Eleni out about sitting out poses and the way to work through them. It was actually good because we ended up having a good talk about it. I guess the universe knew she was ready to be pushed because we ended up beside each other today. This is the first time ever (training or at home) that we have practiced side by side. She got into every posture and really pushed herself today, I was proud of her. She has been having on and off days so it was good to see her walking out with smile after.
Oh and Jules and Melissa; a girl from Vancouver passed on the hug and ‘keep going you’re doing great’ today. She got one of the students from her studio to track us down so she could meet us. She said she was at the studio last week and met you guys, so thanks that was neat.
After lunch we had posture clinic with Esther as a lead, she is great. I think once again a power greater than me knew my group needed her today after two tense posture clinics with Jeff people were really on edge. When I got up to do my posture I started to do it the way they told me to do in for my homework after explaining to Esther what my homework was. She stopped me after two sentences and told me to take a deep breath. She said, ‘I understand your homework and you obviously did to but its not you, please start again and do it how Melissa would do it’, so I took a deep breath and started over. It has been about seven postures since I have been able to relax and just concentrate on the students and bodies while saying the dialogue. When I finished I felt great and had a huge smile on my face. Ester just beamed at me, and said ‘I don’t know why you ever changed what you were doing, that was great, WOW, you are one strong girl and you made me want to lie down and do bow, and I HATE bow’. I told her I have been getting so much feedback about slowing down and speaking in different ways that I wasn’t enjoying posture clinic anymore. She told me my biggest thing is my nerves, but right now I just have to keep working on being me and calming down. That is truly what and who I needed today.
The last couple nights I have not been able to sleep. Two nights ago I really started to doubt myself and question why I was here. I was so frustrated with the feedback I was getting in posture clinic (from one person in particular) that I started to doubt myself. It was first time since starting Bikram Yoga that I wondered if this was the right decision, and wondered if I was really capable of teaching. Wednesday night, after the evening posture clinic I was really angry and tossed and turned all night with a million thoughts spinning in my head. Yesterday I went from being angry and wanting to leave to just letting go and figuring out a way to work through it. I decided to try the feed back I was given, work with it and see what happens. Well I did just that and the next feedback I got was that it wasn’t the right fit for me.
I talked to some people in my group today during the break and told them how I felt. All six girls I was talking with have all had the same feelings as me at one time or another during training. Its funny how when you just put yourself out there what you can get back. I think it was a relief for everyone just to talk about it.
The funny thing is I never ever let it get to me during yoga class. The only time I thought about it was when I was doing my dialogue or in posture clinic, which makes sense. I am glad my ill feelings only lasted two days.
In bow one of the lines is ‘wrists straight, pointed toes’. One of my group members Tracy was told to come out of her shell and not be nervous while saying her dialogue in posture clinic. She got up there and when she came to that line she said, “wrists straight, pointed toes, that’s the way we do the pose", as she did a little hip shake. I fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Esther was still laughing at the end of the posture that she couldn’t even catch her breath to give her a comment. She just gave her two thumbs up and told her to rock it out again next time, it was awesome.
Before evening class I found Esther because I wanted to give her a hug and say thank you. I told her about how I was feeling the last couple days and nights and what she did for me today. I told her I didn’t know what I needed today but someone knew, and it was her. She gave me a huge hug and told me that everyone goes through it during training. I know that and I understand it’s a part of growing. What doesn’t knock you down makes you stronger, look out.
Evening class was taught by some lady from New York I think. She is a studio owner and the wife of one of our trainees here. I have heard before that a class is determined right from half moon (first posture). That is basically when people decide what kind of class they are going to have, or not have. Well, this one was not off to a good start. She held us in half moon for exactly 60 seconds, the longest we have ever been held there all training. After the first full set of half moon people literally started dropping and made of their minds they weren’t having it tonight. I was not going to let her get into my head so I actually had a fun class (as much as is allowed in a Bikram class) with the help of the people around me. We didn’t let each other sit down but we had smiles and laughs the entire time. It is Friday night and I think exactly what we needed to get through it.
After supper we had more posture clinic with one more posture to rehearse. I didn’t mind, I had memorized this one over the weekend so I couldn’t wait to get up there and do it. We had two awesome leads tonight and the energy in the room was fabulous. Tara from my group was told to find the bitch within and deliver with a different voice range then her sweet tone. She walked up there and the sound that came out of her was unbelivable, I was dieing. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing throughout the entire posture. The lead described it perfectly, she sounded like Captain Jack Black (Johnny Depp) in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, it was so freaking awesome. The leads loved it and her performance started a domino effect. Everyone after her had to take on a character to deliver their dialogue. We had a couple more pirates go up, a stoned out surfer dude, a valley girl, a sweet little granny, and Reba McIntyre. Anyone who knows me can guess which one I was. Shauna you are going to love this; “Hello my naaames Re-ba and I’ll be your instructor tonight”. Lol, I was a sweet ol country singer, your favorite. I felt uncomfortable at first because I am not one for acting or getting out of my comfort zone. Once i let go it turned out to be so much fun and again what I needed to get out of my shell a little bit. I was concentrating so much on getting the accent right that the dialogue just spewed out of my mouth. So this Friday nights posture clinic was a lot more enjoyable and relaxed compared to last week. It feels nice to end the week off like that.
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